Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
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Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
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I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
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