he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
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