Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
