I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
