i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
