:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
