So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
