I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
