in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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