then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
