So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
