My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize