Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Please don't give away my fajitas
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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