Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize