it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
