He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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