We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
