What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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