And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
