Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
