I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He shit in the fireplace
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
