you would pick up someone in the library
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
