Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.

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(703): View more from Virginia

when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover

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(954): View more from Florida

pedialite and red bull = repair kit

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(520): View more from Arizona

I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.

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(406): View more from Montana

To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.

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(314): View more from Missouri

Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.

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(727): View more from Florida

I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish

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(704): View more from North Carolina

My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain

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