hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
