I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
