if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
