I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
