And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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