Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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