Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
