she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I forget how to act sober
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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