The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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