I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
