we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
