I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
