Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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