You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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