Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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