I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
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Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
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She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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