She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
