Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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