Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
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