Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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