I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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