piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
