P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
