I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
you will always have a special place in my vag
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
