i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
50% drunk capacity currently
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
