If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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