Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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