I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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