For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
