Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
