Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
