Fuck appropriateness.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
