Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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