pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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