I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
