similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
