no, he came in my armpit
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
