i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
