but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
